Quarrel with spouse

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Sorra with her husbandThe reasons for the quarrel can be very different. In conflicts, it is important not only to be able to smooth corners during a confrontation and defend your point of view, but also to restore a disturbed peace after a quarrel.
Many spouses make the classic mistake of not restoring the world, but just pretending that it has been restored, while deep down they continue to feel the conflict. This leads to the brewing of a new quarrel. Below are some ways to avoid this scenario.



Clarity.
During a conflict, you need to make it as transparent and understandable to both as possible. Try to make sure that your partner clearly understands the background of the conflict. The question should be clearly identified - fact, action, evidence, real case. Suspicions, assumptions, and other things that have no connection with reality should not result in conflicts. If the quarrel is due to the fact that your partner did not call you, discuss not your fears about what he might be doing at this time, but the specific fact of not making a call and what negative emotions it caused.

Sorra with her husbandConcreteness.
During a conflict, you should be specific, you should not get personal and hang labels on your opponent. Discuss only actions and deeds, without predicting events. If your partner tends to act in a way that causes you to react negatively, discuss the action and your emotions, rather than how generally ugly what he does and how terrible the person is who does that.

Respect.
Any conflict must be accompanied by the intention to maintain respect for each other after the conflict is over. Therefore, if you feel that you have reached the point beyond which the thread of your respect for each other is cut off, immediately remove yourself from the "battlefield". All conflicts should be constructive, and if you have a goal of parting, do it beautifully.

Ending the conflict.
If the conflict is over, try to forget it immediately. Remember that conflicts should happen in any relationship - they cannot be avoided, they should not be provoked, you should not live with them, nurture them and prepare for them, or develop tactics of behavior "in battle". They should appear like thunderstorms and disappear on their own. Only in this case you have a chance to make your relationship harmonious and full of mutual understanding.

And finally, we can say that there is a certain type of people who often provoke quarrels. There are many internal psychological problems due to which this happens. And they should be eliminated. Remember that all normal people want to live in peace and harmony. If you feel in yourself a desire to provoke quarrels, it is time for you to think about the fact that your temperament requiring squabbles can significantly ruin your personal life. Is it time to see a psychologist?

Olesya Tsai


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